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A cry in the NightI've always felt empty since I can remember.
I don't know what being happy means. I feel like an empty shell, a simple mistake at birth.
My life should have been given to someone worth it, not me. Living this shouldn't be possible. It is simply a waste.
My mom used to say I wasn't wanted. That everything would have been better. Sometimes she said it was only a lie, on the moment. It was too late anyway.
She cried a lot, argued with my father, making noises all around the house.
"What do you think of people committing suicide ? Are they courageous or weak ?"
I evaded her question with a smile.
I watched her fall apart, becoming thinner by the days, feeling it was my fault. My responsibility to take care of her. I wasn't the child anymore.
I watched my father working all day long, barely caring. Going home to scream on us, frightening me forever.
I listened to my mom's complaints. Listened to her saying to 8year-old-me she was going to kill herself, every week.
I remember hiding under my
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More